Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in bimbomushi's InsaneJournal:

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Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
10:46 am	Want a Goth Name? Goth Name HereMine is Chaotic Kittie. Very befitting. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 5th, 2010
5:29 am	Tough Questions 2 TOUGH QUESTIONSQuestion 1:If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.Question 2:It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.Candidate A.Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.Candidate B.He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.Candidate CHe is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.-------------------------------------------------------------Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.Candidate B is Winston Churchill.Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep reading...Never be afraid to try something new.Remember: Amateurs...built the ark.Professionals...built the TitanicAnd Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse* 7 have been arrested for fraud* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses* 3 have done time for assault* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...Can you guess which organization this is?Give up yet?It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same groupthat crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line. (Comment on this)
Monday, January 4th, 2010
1:49 am	I Love This "And there the lion's ruddy eyes Shall flow with tears of gold, And pitying the tender cries, And walking round the fold, Saying, "Wrath, by His meekness, And, by His health, sickness Is driven away From our immortal day." ... William Blake (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 2nd, 2010
9:22 pm	A Different Type of Vamp There are times, however, when the psychic vampire will not release his hold so easily, and will do everything possible to torment you. They have plenty of time for this because, when once rejected, they will neglect all else (what little else they have, that is) to devote their every waking moment to planning the revenge to which they feel they are entitled. For this reason, it is best to avoid a relationship with this kind of person in the first place. There "adulation" and dependence upon you may, at first, be very flattering, and their material gifts very attractive, but you will eventually find youself paying for them many times over.Don't waste your time with people who will ultimately destroy you, but concentrate instead on those who will appreciate your responsibility to them, and, likewise, feel responsible to you. Dr. Anton Szandor LaVey (Comment on this)
Friday, January 1st, 2010
12:53 pm	Funny Bumper Stickers The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself). The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere. Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
8:16 pm	Zodiac Sex Body: Repost with your sign in the subject line.AQUARIUS WOMEN: Always make the right moves, say the right things and create the right ambiance. You are sexually liberated and enjoy a wide range of eroticism. If his fantasies coincide with yours, the action can really get torrid!. Believe that anything that increases the pleasure for your partner is worthwhile. Best sex mates: Aries, Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius and Aquarius. Favorite sex position: standing-up, and in water.AQUARIUS MEN: Never treats a woman like a sex object and prefers a variety of foreplay before getting down to it. May have be to revved up, but once his engine is started, he is free and inventive with amazing persistence. He will always see you through to climax. A woman who knows what she wants will be very happy. He usually ensures an orgasm twice - once orally and once genitally. Erogenous zones: gently touching the calves and ankles will get him going. Be careful though a kinky Aquarian can be a sadist who doesn't like to be denied!ARIES WOMEN: Wildly sensual, passionate and adventurous. You'll have sex anywhere, you know what you want - intense and frequent sex, you have a need for complete control, but you also fall in love with love. As a mate, you are ardent, loyal, sentimental, and earthly. Biggest thrill the tickle of a man's facial fuzz.ARIES MEN: Sleeping with him is like playing croquet with live bombs-you never know what is going to happen! Never expect him to wait for you to be ready - he will rip your clothes off if he is ready to go. Don't tease him or you better be ready to deliver. Fond of slave master games and he likes it rough. Aries men are also explorers, so be ready to go where no woman has gone before. His favorite position: a woman on her knees leaning forward.CANCER WOMEN: Will never make the first move, but you can be a marvelous lover for you are capable of intense sensuality. You will reciprocate passion with a fervor that will stir his heart and stimulate him to his best performance. On your own time, you have a fondness for masturbation. Your favorite position: lying prone while your man enters you from behind. Best sex mates: Taurus, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio, and Pisces. You may become a slave to sexual pleasure!CANCER MEN: His most surprising technique: intercourse with no hands. He has a need for constant encouragement and if gotten, he will be a delightful swain. Both patient and aggressive, he will often begin somewhere other than the bed, likes being in command, and is a master at manual clitoral manipulation! You'll like the trip as it is as much traveling to a place as it is arriving. His favorite position: a woman on her knees leaning forward. Best sex mates: Leo, Pisces, Scorpio, and Virgo.CAPRICORN WOMEN: Don't need much foreplay - you go from zero to WOW in nothing flat! Not interested in exotic variation, only in staying power. Since you like to dominate, you like to be astride your man, set a rhythm and please yourself. Once into the rhythm, lovemaking becomes a wild contest with orgasm as the prize and you can depend on getting there more than once. Also a scratcher and a screamer. Best sex mates: Taurus, Scorpio and Pisces.CAPRICORN MEN: Sex evokes the best he can offer. He is a planner and a schemer. Prefers a woman who knows what he enjoys and he expects her to willing and ready whenever he wants her. Has the stamina of a marathon runner. Here is the man who will hold off until you are ready to scream! Erogenous zone: a massage the starts at the lower back and gently strokes upward along the sides of his spine.GEMINI WOMEN: Often the aggressor, you are never embarrassed by your behavior because you never adhere to any standards except your own main requirement: a lover who knows how to take his time. You are a one woman harem, but a partner should be aware that in a relationship, the Gemini woman is looking for a combination of the spiritual and the physical, the romantic and the practical. You want to talk to the guy after you tumble with him! Best sex mates are Leo, Scorpio, Aquarians, Libra, and Aries. Favorite gadget: the vibrator.GEMINI MEN: He likes it with the lights on in front of the mirror. He can work any partner into the mood because he knows exactly how to evoke the right responses. Oral sex is his favorite pastime, but he will take his time with other preliminaries. Tends to be fast and furious, more concerned with satisfying himself than his partner, but he is more adequate in areas of lovemaking that are often neglected by other men. He can tell a woman exactly what she wants to hear. His erogenous zone: move your lips and tongue lightly up his arm.LEO WOMEN: Like to be pleased by sex. Whatever Leo wants, Leo gets! Intensely responsive and there are bed partners who have scars to prove it. You have a need for oral gratification, both giving and receiving. Your need to show off leads you to prefer the top where he can look up and admire the beauty of your body. Best sex mates: Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aries. Your sexual wardrobe: full of wispy cut-out bras and panties!LEO MEN: Simply brushes aside rules and conventions. One important rule to remember about him: NEVER tease. His endurance is remarkable & he has a great appetite for making love. He likes women in the submissive position & oral sex is okay only when he is on the receiving end. He likes a woman to show how much she is enjoying it. His erogenous zone: his back is particularly vulnerable.LIBRA WOMEN: Drama is the key word - you set the stage for sex. Intensely feminine and an instinctive exhibitionist. You feel your body was made to be seen and admired. Feel that seduction is an art, not an assault. When approached the right way, you find it easy to say yes to almost anything. Unusual control of vaginal muscles. Best sex mates: Aries, Gemini, Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, and Aquarius. Like any position where your buttocks are exposed.LIBRA MEN: Looks for the whole experience, not just a tumble between the sheets. Has a definite kinky side, a voyeur and fond of the menage a trois. He has the patience needed to satisfy. He likes women who dress well and have long hair. If a woman's clothes look as though they are easily removed, he finds her hard to ignore. Erogenous zone: back and buttocks, especially the feel of erect nipples against either of them!PISCES WOMEN: A slow starter, you idealize love and encompass it with tenderness. Once aroused though, anything goes! Extremely imaginative and like trying new things. There is nothing in any sex manual that you won't try. Believe that anything that increases the pleasure for your partner is worthwhile. You are sexually liberated and enjoy a wide range of eroticism. You seldom say no to anything your lover suggests! Your favorite position: kneeling forward while your man enters you from behind. Best sex mates: Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn.PISCES MEN: Takes the lead in lovemaking and impatient if he doesn't get a swift response. Indifferent to sexual restrictions, both moral and legal prefers a partner with a tremendous sexual craving. Likes sex in a chair. He likes to be submissive. Becomes an addict to anything that will give pleasure and release. Erogenous zone: massaging and caressing his feet.SAGITTARIUS WOMEN: You like the outdoors - freaking out if you are in a tent, camper or on the beach. You enjoy sex, but you don't like to prolong the preliminaries and want to start the main show as soon possible. Like to tease your partner to the point of losing control. You don't mind if your man comes too quickly - you are a generous and accepting lover. Best sex mates: Leo, Libra and Aquarius. Your sexual wardrobe will consist of accessories - gloves and shoes!SAGITTARIUS MEN: Sex is rarely an intense experience with him he often comes too quickly, but he'll be the first to try a new position. He is the master of erotic massage - both oral and manual. His tongue can be wicked instrument and when combined with his lips, creates an explosive affect! Erogenous zones: hips and thighs. And he likes to look at a woman' calves and thighs and likes to have sex with a woman in stockings.SCORPIO WOMEN: Inquisitive, searching and experimental. Knows that eroticism consists of more than the physical act of lovemaking. While looking like a perfectly lady in public, you dress and behave like a whore in the bedroom. Control of the orgasm is very important and will try anything to help your man maintain his potency. Best sex mates: Gemini, Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces. Props you love: scented body oils, flavored lubricating gels and vibrators.SCORPIO MEN: A lustful, sexy animal. Enjoys biting and sucking and is a master of oral sex. Inflicting pain turns him on so he may pinch at nipples or the insides of thighs. Likes it in the water, but his kink is that he prefers wood tables and hard floors to satin and silk. His erogenous zone is his genetalia.TAURUS WOMEN: Sleek, lascivious, enticing and lazy! You expect your man to be kind and patient and make love to you by the book. You don't look for unusual approaches. You are a demanding lover. You never take no for an answer and when interested in someone, you will pursue him with determination and guile. Favorite place: in a waterbed or hot tub. Best sex mates: Sagittarius, Scorpio, and Leo. Most likely kink: sucking on your toes, one by one.TAURUS MEN: He is the ideal lover - sensitive and understanding of his partner's feelings. He prefers it slow and easy, he won't be your guide to the exotic unknown, but what he does, he does beautifully. This is the guy to go to for long and luxurious oral sex. Stamina? This man could wear down a glacier! His erogenous zone: gently and slowly kiss and bite the back of his neck.VIRGO WOMEN: You have no illusions about sex and wish everyone would stop magnifying its importance. Prefer men who will wait for the relationship to develop to the point where sex is inevitable. You love mutual masturbation and enjoy a little punishment, and your grace and modesty is a great turn on. You become an artist at pleasing your lover. Favorite kink: can't truly enjoy it unless a third party is present. Best sex mates: Gemini, Cancer and Aquarians.VIRGO MEN: Too shy to make an overture arrives, you had better be prepared for him to bring his PJ?s, shaving equipment and toothbrush. He likes to talk about how you like it & having talked about it, he will key in on the right erotic response. Don't expect imagination, but he is a hard worker and is open to suggestion. His secret life: can be obsessed with pornography. Erogenous zone: his buttocks (Comment on this)
Monday, December 28th, 2009
3:54 pm	Interesting Facts Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.The youngest pope was 11 years old.A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give hercoffee. Henry Ford once attempted to buy the Eiffel Tower and ship it back tothe United States.During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food, that'sthe weight of 6 elephants!More people use blue toothbrushes than red ones! A sneeze travels out of your mouth at over a hundred m.p.h.!Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breath!!!One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet!Charles Osborn had the hiccups for 65 years! Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his hat to keep him cool, hechanged it every twoinnings!Only one person in 2 billion will live to be 116 or older!Women blink nearly twice as much as men! Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and earsnever stop growing!!!!!!!!!Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pins each year! A zebra is white with black stripes.Not the other way round.All the planets in our solar system rotate anticlockwise, exceptVenus. It is the only planetthat rotates clockwise.Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly backwards. Insects do not make noises with their voices. The noise of bees,mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is caused by rapidly moving theirwings.The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs covering a meter a second. The word "listen" contains the same letters as the word "silent".The only ! 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it'shead are the rabbit and the parrot.A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. India invented the Number System. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.The whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than thespeed of sound.A hippopotamus can run faster than a man. India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.'Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia' is the fear of long words.Didaskaleinophobia is the fear of going to school.Phobatrivaphobia is a fear of trivia about phobias !! It is impossible to lick your elbow. ( We know you gonna try this !!! )A snail can sleep for 3 years. ( wow, lucky chap eh ? )The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which theystart In 1883 the explosion of the volcano Krakatoa put so much dust intothe earth's atmospherethat sunsets appeared green and the moon appeared bluearound theworld for almost two years."Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.Twenty-Four-Karat Gold is not pure gold since there is a small amountof copper in it.Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire. (Comment on this)
Friday, December 25th, 2009
9:18 pm	A Kiss Here's how the professors of different subjects define the same word, *kiss*, in different ways: * Prof. of Algebra: A kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing. * Prof. of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two lips. * Prof. of Physics: A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart. * Prof. of Chemistry: A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts. * Prof. of Zoology: A kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria. * Prof. of Dentistry: A kiss is infectious and antiseptic. * Prof. of Accountancy: A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned. * Prof. of Economics: A kiss is that thing for which the demand is always higher than the supply. * Prof. of English: A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all. * Prof. of Computer Science: What is a kiss? It looks to be an undefined variable (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 20th, 2009
7:32 pm	Interesting Info On 20th of this month at 8.05 pm The time and date would be 2005 2005 2005 Isn't that amazing........ : ) (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 19th, 2009
6:06 am	Ladies This is a little silly thing I found. Just read and follow the directions. ______________________________________Did you know that your preferences for green, purple and orange, the secondary colors, reveal your desires, needs and relationship goals? They show how your personality type attracts and bonds with men -- including Mr. Right! To learn more about how your favorite color affects your life and what that means for your relationships, try this quick test.Step 1: Select Your Favorite ColorSimply look at the colors below and pick the one that you prefer to view (not necessarily the color you use in dressing or decorating).Orange Purple GreenStep 2: Get Your ResultsNow that you've chosen the color that you prefer to look at, check out the corresponding description below to find out what this says about your love style -- and the way that you relate to your version of Mr. Right. If Your Chosen Color Is Green...When you first meet a man, your practical and nurturing ways encourage him to talk about his life right away. You make Mr. Right feel comfortable. He feels that you fully support him.It's easy for you to see exactly what's important to a man from the start. Trust your instincts, along with your keen listening skills, because they help you understand what a man wants from a relationship.Intelligence in the other sex is a real turn-on for you. It entices your curiosity.In the end, you marry or commit for security. This might mean having a home with children, lots of money or a relationship in which you feel cared for. Your permanent Mr. Right will be a stabilizing personality in your life. "Greens" marry the stable guysIf Your Chosen Color Is Purple...When you first meet a man, you're attracted to his energy. But in truth, you are probably best matched with a guy who calms you down and makes you comfortable with yourself.Your sense of drama wins men over, and your enthusiasm can make men feel empowered. They feel their lives are more exciting with you, and that possibilities are infinite.You're loyal. Relationships are serious business to you.Your decision to get married, assuming he has passed all the basic criteria, is largely based on physical appearances. "Purples" marry the good-looking guysIf Your Chosen Color Is Orange...Your charismatic, lovable and affectionate nature wins men over. Touching gives you the ability to see the truth in situations and relationships. It's your way of letting others know you're listening and that you care about them.You are lured into relationships by the way men look. Your decision to get married, however, is based on intellect.You dedicate yourself to a man who's smart, and usually marry for life. You build relationships with a guy who can teach you things. "Oranges" marry the smart guysOne word of warning: When first meeting a guy, you hide the sensitive side of yourself. Your clever defenses are all he sees. He may be mistaken about your true personality if you aren't willing to open up over time. (sorry the red is the closest I could get for orange on here quickly) (Comment on this)
Friday, December 18th, 2009
12:10 am	M-O-T-H-E-RM is for the million things she gave me M-O-T-H-E-RM is for the million things she gave me,O means only that she's growing old,T is for the tears she shed to save me,H is for her heart of purest gold;E is for her eyes, with love-light shining,R means right, and right she'll always be,Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER,"A word that means the world to me.--Howard Johnson (c. 1915) I Love You Mom!Mom's smiles can brighten any moment,Mom's hugs put joy in all our days,Mom's love will stay with us foreverand touch our lives in precious ways...The values you've taught,the care you've given,and the wonderful love you've shown,have enriched my lifein more ways that I can count.I Love you Mom!--Author Unknown (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
9:16 pm	Cambodian Troops Quarantine Quan'sul South Asia BBCThere has been a small outbreak of zombism in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia. Military Forces quarantine Quan'sul There has been a small outbreak of zombism in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia. The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days. After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during resurrection. Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry. General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all." US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment. A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
3:35 pm	Butt Face A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?""My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek." (Comment on this)
Monday, December 14th, 2009
10:30 am	12 Rules for Good Handwriting 1. Good writing is based on a pattern of ovals and parallel lines.2. All small letters start at the top.3. All the downstrokes are parallel.4. All similar letters are the same height.5. All downstrokes are equidistant.6. The space between words is the width of the small letter o.7. Ascenders and descenders are no more than twice the height of small letters, preferably less.8. Capital letters are no higher than the ascenders, preferably less.9. Lines of writing are far enough apart for ascenders and descenders not to touch.10. Letters which finish at the top join horizontally.11. Letters which finish at the bottom join diagonally.12. Letters which finish on a stroke moving left, are best left unjoined. (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 13th, 2009
12:23 am	Just Because.... 1) The 100 Year-War lasted 116 years from 1337-1453.2) The Panama hat is made in Equador.3) The October Revolution is celebrated in November.4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of puppies. (Comment on this)
Friday, December 11th, 2009
10:56 pm	Have You Heard? Hey peoples,Has anyone heard of Hiney Wine? Well the Hiney Brothers would like to present "101 Things to do with your Hiney"!A brief history of the HINEY WINERY..." The HINEY WINERY was founded in or around 1964 by Harry Hiney. After his untimely death in 1975 the Winery was taken over by his nephews Big Red and Thor Hiney, who took the operation and turned it into the gaint it is today."So now sit back, relax, grab a HINEY and prepare for what people have been clamoring for, for about eight months, give or take six months..."101 Things To Do With Your HINEY."Tune in tomorrow for the rest of the story... "Hiney Can Contest" (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 10th, 2009
1:01 pm	A Lesson Learned I've been wearing a short dress today with no panties. A friend was outside in the park behind my house. I decided to go say hello. I wasn't expecting to even get out of the house today which is why the least amount of clothing. Well, lets just say, you never know when the wind will blow ;)Next time, I'll be wearing at least a thong. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 9th, 2009
10:49 am	This Made Me Laugh This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had apet.So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy anunusual pet.After some discussion he finally bought a centipede, (100 leg bug), whichcame in a little white box to use for his house.He took the box home, found a good location for the box, and decided hewould start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink.So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's placewith me and have a beer?"But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked himagain, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?"But again there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited afew minutes more, thinking about the situation.He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up againstthe centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go toFrank's place and have a drink with me?" A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm puttingon my f**king shoes." (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 8th, 2009
6:48 am	Mom Surprise A man had stayed out too late again and was afraid his wife would be angry. On the way home he decided he'd sneak in the bedroom window and ravish her before she had a chance to be angry or notice the time.All went as planned and afterward he went downstairs to get a snack from the kitchen and saw his wife on the couch in the livingroom. "What the Hell are you doing down here?" he cried. "Sssssh, your mother's sleeping upstairs in our bed!" (Comment on this)
Monday, December 7th, 2009
12:52 am	Today I'm home from my dad's birthday party. He had a happy birthday today. He had picked out an Italian Cream Cake, French vanilla ice cream and Pepsi. I bought it all plus a sugar-free vanilla ice cream, two 2-liter Mountain Dews, and two 2-liter Diet Mountain Dews. My mom, sister, and I are all diabetic is why the sugar-free ice cream and the diet drinks. My sister, Debbie and her girlfriend, Apryl got dad a rod and reel. My brother, Stan and his fiance, Melody got dad a card and fishing license. My mom has some more overalls on lay-a-way for him. So he's a happy camper ready to go fishing. Megan and I love to fish so as soon as I get my fishing license we'll all go fishing. After I came home I swept some of the floor. Not a lot. It takes so much energy to sweep the floors in this house. I also swept and mopped the floor where the cat litter is located, put clean papers down and cleaned the cat litter box then put clean cat litter in it. The top of the cat litter box is in the bathtub air-drying right now. Then I put a load of sheets and blankets on to wash. That's as much energy as I have to do right now.This morning I had told my dad that I'd be gone for breakfast with Mike, that truckdriver. So as we were coming home, my parents asked how the breakfast went. There is no way I can ever tell my parents what happened. So I told them that he had brought some bagels and coffee from Shipley's Donuts on Oak Street since he came in on the 127 exit. And that we sat out in the park to eat it. I told them about the Conway Park & Recreation mowers mowing over the same area twice (which is true) and how I called to complain the the P&R about it and how they responded that they hadn't done any such thing. I also told them how Conway Corp was out in the park and how ever since the squirrel caused the fuse to blow out last Wednesday of last week we've been having power surges but they didn't believe any of us who called to tell them that and how we have told them over and over they need to get that squirrel off the electrical fuse box. While at Debbie's and Apryl's house I got caught up on the news about Stan. Yesterday he went in for a lung biopsy. Today he went to the pulmonary doctor, they still don't know the answer to his health. In the past two weeks he's lost 20 more pounds and that has caused a concern. So tomorrow morning at 6AM he goes in for a quadruple biopsy of his lungs. They are going to take a piece of each of his lungs to test then he goes back to the pulmonary doctor sometime next week. The doctors say it's either cancer or it's Emphesyma (sp?) but they aren't sure yet. They say if it's cancer then he won't have long to live. While at Debbie and Apryl's house I helped Megan on her science homework. She's studying about kinetic energy, heat, conduction, and all of that. I enjoyed studying about those subjects. So I helped her easily. She said "Mommy sometimes your so very smart. But other times you're just dumb. I just don't get you." I responded with "Well, Megan, we are all that way."Not long after I got home she called me, she had just got the fact I said the same about her. I thought it was funny. (Comment on this)